My 200th post.

The number of my hits is decreasing, month by month. It somehow makes me feel a lot safer that i can actually treat this blog like a little diary of mine, with the hope that not many will read.

For this 200th post, i would like to write something a tad bit special. A little bit more deep than what i used to write. Something that comes more from the heart than the brain; and straightforward. 

There are a lot of things that i have been keeping to myself -- been wanting to write 'em down but too lazy to grab a pen and a piece of paper. So here goes one of the things.

You might think that you've never crossed my mind, but the fact is, you cross my mind every single day. You pushed me away when i thought you'd be the last one to leave. But i stood strong, thinking maybe this friend of mine is going through a tough phase in life (or probably just growing up). I would wanna grow up with you. I waited and waited till this very day. Expecting calls/texts/tweets from you. You may think that i don't give a shit about you since we haven't had a proper conversation in a tremendously long time, but heck, you were once my friend and 'friends' stick together no matter what. When you think that i'm too busy with my (so-called) hectic and busy life, i always make time for my friends. You know i do. Don't doubt me. When you think i wouldn't spare some time to listen to your problems/whines/et cetera, heck, i've been waiting for the day when you would actually ring me like you used to. I might not write on your wall, tweet you or text you, but you have the right to know that i stalk you. I want to know what's going on with your life. 'Didn't anyone hurt you? Stalk you? Have you found someone new?' Why? Because i do care for about you. I once did and i'll forever care about you. When i see you make friends and go out with some people i don't know, i admit it hurts me to know that you've finally grown up and you no longer need me.

- Rina Ridzwan

(Some might know me by Irina or Nina, but it's up to you. )

This applies to a whole bunch of people. If the shoe fits, then you are.