I'm not ready for this bullshit.

Get ready for me to fucking rant.

If you didn't know, i've already started working. At a really reputable company as a marketing communications executive. Today is my fifth day working here and i stand firm with what i felt on my first day here: I don't want to be here.

It's not about the system or the organization, it's just me. I'm not ready to fucking work, okay. I've studied non-stop since 2012; i have a diploma and a degree; i got 8 out of 9 Dean's List Awards; I worked my ass off at the advertising/public relations agency where i was doing my internship at, and i deserve a break. I haven't even gotten the time to actually sit at home and sleep. I haven't even spent time with Emma. I need to fucking relax.

My internship ended 3 days before raya. Raya was tiring as usual because my relatives came over. Third day of raya, I left for Bali (which was not pleasant and tiring!). Two days later, i had to do my final presentation.The following day, i had to do medical check up, ran errands for the whole week. Nina's sister was getting married, so i had to help. On Friday was the nikah day, Saturday was the reception. On Sunday, i had to fucking leave to KL already. And i started working on Monday. 

Tell me; when the fuck did i fucking rest since i ended my degree?!

Ugh i'm not ready for work. I really am not. I'm just tired. Mentally and physically. I haven't even gotten the chance to celebrate my degree. I'm unofficially a degree holder now, for crying out loud. Don't i deserve a break and a celebration?

Who asked me to start so soon, you may ask. Well, the people of higher power me asked me to start this soon. In fact, an individual even asked me to start earlier, but after negotiating, he allowed me to start last Monday. I was caught in between. I didn't even dream of this job. I didn't even think of working here. Yes, it is a reputable company but corporate world is just not my thing. And i majored in public relations, not marketing. And note that i have to work on Saturdays.

 I was caught in a situation where i couldn't say no. Deep down, i wanted to say no and decline the offer. But the situation just didn't permit me to say no.

So here i am, dreading my life. Should i just quit?..